| a little sugar coating. |
[05 Dec 2005|04:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 energetic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
BSS-swimmers. |
] |
i miss the ground i used to tread on.
you dropped me like a bad habit, cold turkey.
thinking like life has something more to offer.
we each operate in our own circle of hell, naturally.
i saw your car at the bank. maybe id say hi if i knew what to expect.
but i dont know if you've changed, id like to think you have,
cause the real you wouldnt abandon me.
and the stars dont shine like they used to
always wishing on a dull flame.
i just hope you're happy. cause i fucking miss you. and everyday i try not to.
it doesnt make sense, nothing makes sense anymore.
dont worry though, im happy.
i just keep trying to figure out why, and it hurts my head.
im done trying.
im still waiting.
meet me at the tracks.
|
|
|
[13 Oct 2005|06:23am] |
its all about energy
not particularly good nor happy.
as long as its free.
driving in the fog.
and if you listen very hard
you can hear the headlights.
they cut the car from afar.
but you couldnt tell if i didnt tell you.
in a milky way that will never melt.
simple moral convictions disguised by the brilliance
of the technical acomplishment.
slowly pounding away through the elaborate intellectual display.
its breathtaking.
i cant do this now.
|
|
| my poverty is never exhausted. |
[23 Sep 2005|10:51am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the american analog set. |
] |
so today is one of many days i have to live through and be strong.
i drive to yakima with my dad to visit my grandpa who has cancer, that i cant call grandpa cause hes a stranger to me. and pretty much to my dad too.
this is going to be so sad. i hate pain. in any form.
all my family is going to be depressed, and im going to burst, because my heart is too big sometimes. and its just going to explode in sympathy.
ive been going through shit. dont worry about it. its all the deadly process of growing up.
you know its time we grow old and do some shit.
|
|
| words are weapons. |
[10 Sep 2005|05:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 i hate ______ |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
my sanity-aloha. |
] |
my days are blurring into months, my heart feels all the pain in intervals.
they completely forgot me. i have fully lost my value.
ive become so easily disposed.
since when did people stop caring? or is the question
did anyone really ever care at all?
the way love is devalued in trashy newspaper ads and sex magazines, makes me wonder..
maybe love doesnt exist, or it does but we only love what is tangible.
why does everything make sense after a night with no sleep?
we are the only ones sane, the nocturnal creatures.
we fall in love more everytime before the last.
its not real until the next time.
the sunrise has taken its toll on these
lonely eyes.
holding onto the memories,
waiting for the surprize that awaits us.
nothing can be measured
only our perception is real.
we dont take these steps for granted,
i dont lie anymore.
i want to be detatched and renewed. its all a game to him.
|
|
|
[05 Sep 2005|11:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 high |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
mazzy star-so tonight that i might see |
] |
mazzy star is amazing.
i had a disturbing dream last night.
bumbershoot was great.
even though i got a parking ticket.
i saw minus the bear, and alex :]
i might go to spokane to see them.
if i can find some one with a car to go with me.
starting tomorrow im looking for a job, although i hope to get the photo trainee job.
i feel so gross, sitting around all day, im getting depressed. and fat.
also, i have to go to the highschool to get my withdrawl papers cause they are trying to send me to court and shit, and ive been withdrawn for like 6 months.
i was hoping to start school fall quarter, but looks like im going to have to start in spring. i need to find a room mate and a job.
it really is time to grow old and do some shit.
( we are minature, they are giants )
|
|
|
[31 Aug 2005|09:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 drained |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the american analog set. |
] |
i hate myself.
dont ask.
hopefully i get to see alex at bumbershoot on saturday.
maybe ill get to go on tour with minus the bear.
that sure would lift my spirits.
why am i in this stupid fucking repeative circle of desruction.
i dont cause myself anything but dammage.
and thats all going to change.
its about time i change my ways.
|
|
| no mo strangers. |
[23 Aug 2005|05:07am] |
i got lost on the way home.
pulled over at a chevron, in granite falls. hahah
and met the most insane guy!
i asked him if he knew how to get back to highway 9,
and he was telling me his life story.
it was a downer.
he said he left his wife, and she stole his pills,
he has her purse, and all the money.
and he wouldnt stop. then he asks me if i have any change.
being the idiot i am, i let him use my phone.
and i just stood there, waiting..
THEN he asked if i wanted to sit in his truck,
while he used my phone and i said no im good. ha
he offered me his jacket.
okay, getting a little creepy.
after he told me he'd pay me for the call. and 10 minutes later.
i got my phone. after i had to listen to him and his wife of 15 years bitch at eachother, over drugs, money, and just basically thier lives in a downward spiral.
he asked if he could follow me to high way 9 and just,
i left. and found my way home.
cell phones are evil. men are evil. im done.
|
|
|
[19 Aug 2005|04:42pm] |
im so sick of being a fuck up.
i guess its for the better,
ill have all the time in the world to focus on things i adore.
even though it is all dwindling, im tired of losing everything, everyone.
i find it just super how in a second your mindset can change.
i need to change, for the better.
any oone wanna get wasted?
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
aloha_sunrise's journal
feen
content